A lot of my life I thought it was rude to ask for what you want, and I thought it was weak to ask for what you need. Not sure if that’s a Midwest thing (ope), an Asian American female thing, a trauma response, or a mix of those and many more factors…. Whatever it’s origins… I’m just thankful to now know that simply isn’t true – It is NOT rude to ask for what you want, and it is NOT weak to ask for what you need. It’s quite the opposite.
One of the most loving and powerful choices we can make for ourselves is to identify something we need/want. AND admit that to ourselves. AND (when it makes sense), admit it to others. And to invite others in to help. Not demanding it, but making a polite, reasonable request.
I’ve found many times when I “hold back” on requests as to not “burden” others… I’ve actually missed out on opportunities to be seen, loved and cared for. I had already decided on behalf of that other person that they wouldn’t want to be bothered.. But all I did was rob them of making their own choice in the matter. Sometimes, I’ve even found out later that they wished I had asked!!
Now that’s not always the case. Because simply making requests does not mean they get fulfilled 100% of the time. But it allows more opportunity for your friends/community/family to extend love in very tangible ways. And who couldn’t use more of that in this life?!